Do manners even matter?

After spending the past 2 or 3 days at two different schools in Kisoro I found myself faced with the existential question on the importance of bringing manners to a country like Uganda.

It all started when Ms. O'Brien and I were handing out silly bands to what seemed like a hundred children at a local school where our friend Grace taught. I was swarmed with kids reaching for my hands, trying to pry them open, yelling "give me!" When my efforts of getting everyone into a single-file line failed, I instinctively did what my parents would do to me. I refused to give them a bracelet until they said "please." Immediately the children understood that they would not be receiving a silly band until they said please; I felt very accomplished. I thought I was doing something meaningful by teaching these children manners. However, that sense of accomplishment was short lived...

We eventually ran out of silly bands and every kid did not get one. In reality, those who bombarded us were the ones who walked away with bracelets, not those who politely waited or were pushed back by the other, more "aggressive" children. Although those who were fairly physical in their pursuit for their silly band said "please", it was obvious that they did not truly understan the meaning of the word. I still saw them behave as what one would typically describe as "rude" in America. However one has to understand that their lives are very different than ours. Aggressiveness and persistence is how you get what you want or need here in Uganda. In America, education is a law, a child has a legal right to attend school. In Uganda school is a privilege, not every child gets an education. Some can't afford the uniforms required, while other children are needed at home to help their family. Those lucky enough to be enrolled face many other challenges, including what could be a grueling multi-mile walk to school everyday. Motivation to get what you want is key. 

Americans tend to value those who are humble and polite. It is at a young age that we are taught not to stare, say please and thank you, and to share. I felt odd and almost an envy towards the children who would run down the street after our car screaming "MAZUNGAS" (white people). We were obviously not like them, and even though the adults typically wouldn't yell "mazungas" at us, they never once reprimanded the kids for pointing, chasing, and even laughing at us. While working in a school, one of the teacher's babies began to cry (yes, they brought their infants to work!). Mrs. Myers and I exchanged glances and looked aroud the room to see what would happen. To my amazement not one student lifted a finger  and the mother simply continued doing whatever she was up to. Even at an older age, I still remember my father shuffling me out of resturaunts and stores because I was crying or even simply falling asleep on my mother. Parents in Uganda appear to value a child's ignorance and youth. They do not deprive children of curiosity. If a kid see something unusual, they will point it out and not be told it is wrong simply because it is not "polite".

All in all I came to the conclusion that us bringing manners to Uganda was pointless. The social norms of America clearly do not match up with those of Uganda, nor would manners greatly benefit a child, except for in other interactions with other American visitors.

I'm pretty sure everyone else summed up what we've done so far, so here are some pictures of beautiful Uganda!

~Liz Boxer